Thank you, and good night!

It arrived in the mail today (one week shipping to a military address in Germany, not bad) and I immediately popped in Resident Evil 4: Wii Edition, hoping to convert some zombies into a lathery pile of oozy, passive-aggressive revenge. Turns out the controls are hard as HELL to jump right into and I was pitchforked in no time.

Hmmmph. On to Wii Sports Resort.

I have a “FAIR” offer for you right after the break. Let me know if you accept!

Dark Sector

Alone in the Dark

Darkest of Days

Darksiders

The Darkness

Dark Void

Dark Messiah Of Might and Magic: Elements

Dark Could

Dark Mist

Dark Angel

Perfect Dark

Perfect Dark Zero

Tenchu: Dark Secret

Tekken 5: Dark Resurrection

Bleach: Dark Souls

Overlord: Dark Legend

Operation Darkness

Penny Arcade Adventures: On the Rainslick Precipice of Darkness

Eternal Darkness

Chronicles of Riddick: Dark Athena

Syphon Filter: Dark Mirror

Gear of War 2: Dark Corners

That’s right, they aaaaaaallllll suck.

I’m kidding, of course, some of them are good. Also, this wasn’t even close to the complete list of games that have “dark” in them.

I can’t honestly say what was talked about because I was gone for most of it (custody hearing). But the rest of the Threevue Staff and I hope that you enjoy it.

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Tyler:
Have you guys seen that funny little clip of the Dark Void “prototype” ? The 8-bit game that the upcoming game was supposedly based on? It’s all a marketing ploy to amp up the release of the DS version of the series. At any rate, the reason I bring this up is because I feel like DV is a game that would have been a lot better if that was an actual game that came out in my youth. If I did play something like the DS version when I was younger than maybe I could summon some sort of anticipation for the 360/PS3 one coming out this month. I might have some nostalgic importance to me. As it is, I just can’t see what it is about this game that has people thinking it would be anything other than a perfectly par shooter. Everything, except the near-flawless flight controls, seems borrowed from other games. While playing the demo I had significant flashbacks to Halo and Mass Effect. And just like in GTA4, when transitioning from the flight combat (driving segments) to over the shoulder combat with robots (police/gangsters) something is definitely lost in the translation– the controls seem off a bit.

I like the goal here — air combat mixed with a Gears-like shooter. I’m all for blending genres, but I can’t say that I think Dark Void hits the nail on the head… more like it hit the nail almost in, but on the last stroke it bent it down so that the nail head left a little mark on the wood. Then they pulled the nail out with the reverse side of the hammer and tried to straighten it out and nail it in again, but it’s not really flush now and there’s that little ding from earlier.

What I’m saying is that Dark Void is not Bob Villa.

Steve:
When I first tried the Dark Void demo, my first thought was “why the hell is there a fat dude with his shirt off, and what does this have to do with the story?!?” It’s a feeling that never really leaves you throughout the course of the demo either; the question changes but the general feeling of bewilderment doesn’t.
It seems the further you progress through the demo, the more you feel that it’s a poor demo of what appears to be a decidedly average game.

The demo is bad because it’s just not cohesive in any way at all; the story jumps and skips all over the place in order to let you sample the different types of gameplay on offer, all the while, random characters come and go unannounced, and unrelated events pass by without any explanation. This can be excused somewhat by the fact that it’s just a demo, and its main purpose is you let you sample what the game has to offer. However, it still leaves you with the impression that the story in the full game will still be forgettable gibberish.
Another impression that the demo leaves you with is that almost every element of this game seems to be generally unremarkable, and that every component is somehow lacking in one way or another; the graphics are standard fare (with the possible exception of the environments), the action feels unspectacular, the cover mechanics seem recycled, and both, along with the controls in general, feel just a little too loose to be entirely satisfactory.
As a side note, why didn’t devs Airtight Games include any sections featuring the much vaunted “vertical cover” mechanics they’ve been crowing about for so long? It seems like, if this feature was really as good, or as game changing, as they would have us believe, then this would be the perfect way to let people experience it.

It’s fair to say then, that you probably shouldn’t rush out to buy Dark Void.  However, whereas this would probably be a good game to rent or pick up (really) cheap when there’s a lull in the release schedule, this years schedule seems to be far too unrelenting to even bother thinking about Dark Void any time soon.  Save your money and play some of the games that demand your attention instead.

On the surface, MAG isn’t anything spectacular; visually, it’s a bit bland, character models aren’t incredibly detailed and gunplay doesn’t quite pack the punch you expect in a post-Modern Warfare world. If you’re willing to look past its deficiencies, you’ll see that MAG has a huge heart, beating to a tune of 256 players.

It’s a massive undertaking my Zipper Interactive, bringing out its fair amount of sceptics. “256 players? Isn’t that just chaos? Would it even be able to run properly?” Yes, it runs perfectly fine and no, it’s far from chaotic. Don’t be so surprised. It’s not like Zipper’s new to this or anything. They brought you the SOCOM franchise, whose history is ingrained with online console FPS. You feel other influences as well. It’s orchestrated encounters and sheer number of players echo an MMO world and its command structure and tactical manoeuvrability have the faintest touch of RTS. It’s by no means rigid, but the framework put in place goes a long way in providing an organised structure to prevent mass hysteria.

The first few hours of the beta were spent playing the Sabotage game mode. Rather than simply capturing points A and B, the attacking team must capture A and B simultaneously before point C is revealed, to be destroyed. With a maximum of 64 players, you start to get a sense of size of the fight. It’s not until you unlock the 256-player Domination mode at level 10, and you realise you’re amidst something much larger than you’ve ever encountered before. It’s almost incomprehensible to describe at first – even though you’re fighting this little skirmish with your 7 other squad members, in the back of your mind you know there’s another 16 of these battles happening right now. Your 8 becomes 16, 16 becomes 32, and 32 becomes 64. As the battle goes on, you’re moving between primary and secondary objectives led by your squad leaders. By following commands, you’re not only working better as a group to advance, you’re netting yourself extra experience points. It’s a smart play by Zipper to keep teams focused and on point, while not necessarily penalising freedom.

With all the action occurring simultaneously, it’s amazing I didn’t encounter any major connection problems. Matches are completed without error and framerate is consistent throughout. It may lack the polish and shininess of Modern Warfare, but MAG’s set piece isn’t in its levels, or in any scripted event. It’s the view of the dozens and dozens of real-life people fighting next to you. It’s bringing the online shooter back to the idea of people.

Before going into this movie I really didn’t know what to expect; as a child I was never exposed to the book, and never had any casual run-ins with it as I got older. So when I found out they were making a movie of it, I didn’t really pay much attention to it.
However, that all changed when the release date for the movie grew close, and it started to garner a lot of good press. Needless to say, I went into this movie with a certain sense of intrigue – and rightfully so; this movie had me completely captivated from the very beginning. Director Spike Jonze has done a great job of adapting what is essentially a fairly simple coming-of-age children’s book into a full-length movie, and Where The Wild Things Are is clearly far more than just a kids movie.

Throughout the course of the movies 90-or-so minutes, the intensity peaks and troughs in order to evoke a wide range of emotions; sometimes it’ll leave you grinning madly with pure joy, and sometimes it’ll leave you feeling sad, or even uncomfortable. Regardless of the emotion it produces, the movie always does so with a wide-eyed, child-like sense of amazement, and as such, is always entertaining.

The film itself is well shot, and the locations used are not only gorgeous and well realised (in an extremely stark kind of way), but also help convey the ethereal, not-quite-real feeling portrayed by the events unfolding in front of you. This feeling is also developed greatly by the films use of music, which is provided, in the main, by Karen O and the Kids.
The music here was obviously tailored to the movie, as while the soundtrack ranges from playful and light-hearted, to dour and depressing, it is always relevant to the tone of the movie, and always manages to perfectly convey the feel of the movie through music.

Regrettably, much of the real life acting is a little forgettable, though this is not because it’s bad, but mainly because most of the actors get very little real screen time – with the notable exception of Max Records, who plays the part of main character Max. Records is near-perfect in the role of Max, and for someone so young, displays a great deal of genuine acting talent.
Where the acting really shines though, is in the voice acting for the wild things, in particular, James Gandolfini as snuffling, snorting, raging wild thing Carol, and Catherine O’Hara, who plays the petulant Judith. It is because of this, that you not only get a chance to bond with the wild things, who are (at times) extremely likeable, but also get a glimpse at some of the deeper issues at work here.

As previously mentioned, Where The Wild Things Are, is more than just a kids movie, and there’s plenty here for adults to take in; whether it’s a chance to remember how much fun (and hard work!) it was to be a child, or to see just how differently children’s minds work when compared to adults.
There’s also plenty here if you like to dig a little deeper, and in the short space of time Max spends with his family at the start of the movie, the film does a good job of depicting his relationship with them, and goes a long way to explaining why he behaves the way he does.
This in turn gives us a good explanation as to why the wild things are the way they are, and offers an insight into their relationship to Max, as the movie implies that they can be viewed in a couple of ways; either that the wild things represents the various members of Max’s family – their interactions with one another, and with Max, providing an exaggerated view of their real life relationships with each other – or that each one is a physical representation of a different side of Max’s personality. Whichever way you choose to view it, the role of the wild things in the movie is a complex matter, and one that will leave you thinking about it long after the movie has finished.

It is because of this that the movie is so fascinating; it lures you in with its bright colours and (seemingly) simple depiction of cuddly monsters, secret forts, and childish games, but then uses these to make you think about the more serious side of things like family life, the fleeting nature of friendship, and about growing up.

If you have kids, you already have an excuse to go and watch this movie. If you don’t have kids then go and watch it anyway. If nothing else, think of it as a way of treating your inner child. All adults were, at one time or another, forced to grow up and abandon the things they loved as children. Think of this movie, then, not as a way of mourning the loss of your childhood, but as a way of celebrating it.

Oh, and one final note: if you do go and see this movie, don’t forget to bring your double re-cracker!

10:21AM This is where it all begins. I opt to download the 35mb in the background. Need to sync my tropheez!

10:30AM Installing now.

10:31AM Patch time! That’s another 35MB. I don’t know what that’s in Imperial measurements.

10:42AM It’s starting! Wait. Not so much. 1828.70MB to go. This must be the good stuff.

10:43AM My 60GB PS3 is showing its old age. It’s telling me I need to delete some stuff off the hard drive.

10:45AM Goodbye Noby Noby Boy! We’ll reach Jupiter soon, just not today. Might as well delete that demo for Dante’s Inferno while we’re at it. I suddenly feel lighter.

10:47AM/0% Aaaand we’re back to MAG. 1828.70MB? Easy. That’s like 2 porn movies. Or regular movies.

10:51AM/1% Looks like the XMB is disabled. I’m stuck staring at a screen with 3 guys looking all deadly and hardcore. I wonder what they’re like in real life?

11:04AM/2% Made myself coffee. Might skip brunch today. Perhaps will have lunner instead.

11:27AM/4% I get a call from my friend asking if I wanted to grab a coffee. I said I was in the middle of something incredibly important, but sure, okay.

11:31AM/5% I have nothing to wear!

11:48AM/7% Now which shoes do I wear?

11:50AM/7% Changing my outfit again.

11:55AM/8% Doorbell rings. WTF? No one ever visits me.

11:56AM/9% It was the postman with a package from our very own Mark Hill! How on earth did he find out where I live? I open the package. Smells like L.A. – cilantro and crushed dreams. Thankyou Mark!

12:01PM/10% Running out of the house. Camera, phone, wallet, underpants. Check, check, check and check.

And this is where I leave the PS3 for 6 hours. After the jump, heartbreak, broken penises and a shower scene.

6:34PM “You have disconnected from the PlayStation Network. Please sign-in” WHY ARE YOU TESTING ME!?

6:35PM/64% Restored. You think reading this is boring? Try living it.

6:41PM/65% Going for a run. Hoping I can think of something to make for dinner as well.

7:04PM/68% Making dinner and listening to GiantBomb.

7:22PM/70% Cavatelli with creamy tomato and chilli sauce with baby spinach and melted bocconcini. Easier than it sounds.

7:39PM/73%/651 Unread items Attacking Google Reader with a vengeance and putting my anger into catching up on news.

7:45PM/75%/503 Unread items I get a text from my friend who broke his penis. He asks me if I want to see a photo. I decide against. Our friendship is already weird enough.

8:13PM/80%/361 Unread items Decided to have some “me time”, so I prep a bath.

8:19PM/81% Rub-a-dub-dub. Three men in a tub? I’m certainly thinking about it.

8:39PM/84% Bright and shiny. I should do some work.

9:35PM/95% Sooo close, I can almost hear the voices telling me “You got fucking pwned, gay faggot!” Can’t wait any longer!

9:48PM/97% “You have disconnected from the PlayStation Network. Please sign-in” This is EPIC!!

10:11PM/100%! This is it folks! It’s happening! Is this what the apocalypse feels like?

Do I need to recap? 35MB download. 35MB patch. 1828MB download. I suggest you wait for my hands-on tomorrow, instead of trying this yourself. Thanks for sticking with me!

And as if by magic, those words come back to bite us in the ass. That’s right folks, due to some minor technical problems and some travel-based scheduling conflicts, this week’s cast has been delayed.

We do plan on recording one soon, though we’re making no promises. However, if you’re desperately looking for a constructive way to fill your time, then why not do think of the most knee-jerk, derivative, poorly thought-out comment you can, then add it to our Modern Warfare 2 sucks post. *wink*