I’ve never been so happy to play Wii in my life

Last week I hooked up my Wii by trying to use it in a European plug with a cheap, $10 AC volt converter. After about ten minutes of play the little converter shorted, taking my Wii’s AC adapter with it in a smoky, fried mess. Mercifully, Amazon sells a Wii AC adapter that accepts both 110v and 240v, which you can get here for $18.

It arrived in the mail today (one week shipping to a military address in Germany, not bad) and I immediately popped in Resident Evil 4: Wii Edition, hoping to convert some zombies into a lathery pile of oozy, passive-aggressive revenge. Turns out the controls are hard as HELL to jump right into and I was pitchforked in no time.

Hmmmph. On to Wii Sports Resort.

OHMYGOD! It’s Just What’ I’ve Been Looking For!

I have a “FAIR” offer for you right after the break. Let me know if you accept!

Darknesses

Can you guess what the following games all have in common?

Dark Sector

Alone in the Dark

Darkest of Days

Darksiders

The Darkness

Dark Void

Dark Messiah Of Might and Magic: Elements

Dark Could

Dark Mist

Dark Angel

Perfect Dark

Perfect Dark Zero

Tenchu: Dark Secret

Tekken 5: Dark Resurrection

Bleach: Dark Souls

Overlord: Dark Legend

Operation Darkness

Penny Arcade Adventures: On the Rainslick Precipice of Darkness

Eternal Darkness

Chronicles of Riddick: Dark Athena

Syphon Filter: Dark Mirror

Gear of War 2: Dark Corners

That’s right, they aaaaaaallllll suck.

Demotopia!: Dark Void

Tyler:
Have you guys seen that funny little clip of the Dark Void “prototype” ? The 8-bit game that the upcoming game was supposedly based on? It’s all a marketing ploy to amp up the release of the DS version of the series. At any rate, the reason I bring this up is because I feel like DV is a game that would have been a lot better if that was an actual game that came out in my youth. If I did play something like the DS version when I was younger than maybe I could summon some sort of anticipation for the 360/PS3 one coming out this month. I might have some nostalgic importance to me. As it is, I just can’t see what it is about this game that has people thinking it would be anything other than a perfectly par shooter. Everything, except the near-flawless flight controls, seems borrowed from other games. While playing the demo I had significant flashbacks to Halo and Mass Effect. And just like in GTA4, when transitioning from the flight combat (driving segments) to over the shoulder combat with robots (police/gangsters) something is definitely lost in the translation– the controls seem off a bit.

I like the goal here — air combat mixed with a Gears-like shooter. I’m all for blending genres, but I can’t say that I think Dark Void hits the nail on the head… more like it hit the nail almost in, but on the last stroke it bent it down so that the nail head left a little mark on the wood. Then they pulled the nail out with the reverse side of the hammer and tried to straighten it out and nail it in again, but it’s not really flush now and there’s that little ding from earlier.

What I’m saying is that Dark Void is not Bob Villa.

Steve:
When I first tried the Dark Void demo, my first thought was “why the hell is there a fat dude with his shirt off, and what does this have to do with the story?!?” It’s a feeling that never really leaves you throughout the course of the demo either; the question changes but the general feeling of bewilderment doesn’t.
It seems the further you progress through the demo, the more you feel that it’s a poor demo of what appears to be a decidedly average game.

The demo is bad because it’s just not cohesive in any way at all; the story jumps and skips all over the place in order to let you sample the different types of gameplay on offer, all the while, random characters come and go unannounced, and unrelated events pass by without any explanation. This can be excused somewhat by the fact that it’s just a demo, and its main purpose is you let you sample what the game has to offer. However, it still leaves you with the impression that the story in the full game will still be forgettable gibberish.
Another impression that the demo leaves you with is that almost every element of this game seems to be generally unremarkable, and that every component is somehow lacking in one way or another; the graphics are standard fare (with the possible exception of the environments), the action feels unspectacular, the cover mechanics seem recycled, and both, along with the controls in general, feel just a little too loose to be entirely satisfactory.
As a side note, why didn’t devs Airtight Games include any sections featuring the much vaunted “vertical cover” mechanics they’ve been crowing about for so long? It seems like, if this feature was really as good, or as game changing, as they would have us believe, then this would be the perfect way to let people experience it.

It’s fair to say then, that you probably shouldn’t rush out to buy Dark Void.  However, whereas this would probably be a good game to rent or pick up (really) cheap when there’s a lull in the release schedule, this years schedule seems to be far too unrelenting to even bother thinking about Dark Void any time soon.  Save your money and play some of the games that demand your attention instead.

Demotopia!: MAG Public Beta

On the surface, MAG isn’t anything spectacular; visually, it’s a bit bland, character models aren’t incredibly detailed and gunplay doesn’t quite pack the punch you expect in a post-Modern Warfare world. If you’re willing to look past its deficiencies, you’ll see that MAG has a huge heart, beating to a tune of 256 players.

It’s a massive undertaking my Zipper Interactive, bringing out its fair amount of sceptics. “256 players? Isn’t that just chaos? Would it even be able to run properly?” Yes, it runs perfectly fine and no, it’s far from chaotic. Don’t be so surprised. It’s not like Zipper’s new to this or anything. They brought you the SOCOM franchise, whose history is ingrained with online console FPS. You feel other influences as well. It’s orchestrated encounters and sheer number of players echo an MMO world and its command structure and tactical manoeuvrability have the faintest touch of RTS. It’s by no means rigid, but the framework put in place goes a long way in providing an organised structure to prevent mass hysteria.

The first few hours of the beta were spent playing the Sabotage game mode. Rather than simply capturing points A and B, the attacking team must capture A and B simultaneously before point C is revealed, to be destroyed. With a maximum of 64 players, you start to get a sense of size of the fight. It’s not until you unlock the 256-player Domination mode at level 10, and you realise you’re amidst something much larger than you’ve ever encountered before. It’s almost incomprehensible to describe at first – even though you’re fighting this little skirmish with your 7 other squad members, in the back of your mind you know there’s another 16 of these battles happening right now. Your 8 becomes 16, 16 becomes 32, and 32 becomes 64. As the battle goes on, you’re moving between primary and secondary objectives led by your squad leaders. By following commands, you’re not only working better as a group to advance, you’re netting yourself extra experience points. It’s a smart play by Zipper to keep teams focused and on point, while not necessarily penalising freedom.

With all the action occurring simultaneously, it’s amazing I didn’t encounter any major connection problems. Matches are completed without error and framerate is consistent throughout. It may lack the polish and shininess of Modern Warfare, but MAG’s set piece isn’t in its levels, or in any scripted event. It’s the view of the dozens and dozens of real-life people fighting next to you. It’s bringing the online shooter back to the idea of people.

Liveblogging the MAG Beta Download

10:21AM This is where it all begins. I opt to download the 35mb in the background. Need to sync my tropheez!

10:30AM Installing now.

10:31AM Patch time! That’s another 35MB. I don’t know what that’s in Imperial measurements.

10:42AM It’s starting! Wait. Not so much. 1828.70MB to go. This must be the good stuff.

10:43AM My 60GB PS3 is showing its old age. It’s telling me I need to delete some stuff off the hard drive.

10:45AM Goodbye Noby Noby Boy! We’ll reach Jupiter soon, just not today. Might as well delete that demo for Dante’s Inferno while we’re at it. I suddenly feel lighter.

10:47AM/0% Aaaand we’re back to MAG. 1828.70MB? Easy. That’s like 2 porn movies. Or regular movies.

10:51AM/1% Looks like the XMB is disabled. I’m stuck staring at a screen with 3 guys looking all deadly and hardcore. I wonder what they’re like in real life?

11:04AM/2% Made myself coffee. Might skip brunch today. Perhaps will have lunner instead.

11:27AM/4% I get a call from my friend asking if I wanted to grab a coffee. I said I was in the middle of something incredibly important, but sure, okay.

11:31AM/5% I have nothing to wear!

11:48AM/7% Now which shoes do I wear?

11:50AM/7% Changing my outfit again.

11:55AM/8% Doorbell rings. WTF? No one ever visits me.

11:56AM/9% It was the postman with a package from our very own Mark Hill! How on earth did he find out where I live? I open the package. Smells like L.A. – cilantro and crushed dreams. Thankyou Mark!

12:01PM/10% Running out of the house. Camera, phone, wallet, underpants. Check, check, check and check.

And this is where I leave the PS3 for 6 hours. After the jump, heartbreak, broken penises and a shower scene.

Call of Duty: Vietnam

Destructoid has posted an unsourced rumor that the next Treyarch-produced Call of Duty game, most definitely coming out near the end of this year, will be set in Vietnam.

The first thing that came to my mind is the fact that I was mildly offended by the nearly-categorically-racist portrayal of Japanese soldiers in Treyarch’s last game, Call of Duty: World at War. So now we’re going to see a racist portrayal of Vietnamese, eh?

Actually, if they get the foliage right it might be a pretty good game. It’s an inevitability that another Call of Duty game will be arriving this year, so the least they could do is change it up a bit with a new era. Although Call of Duty: The American Revolution sounds waaaay better.

My “Gameplan” For The Next Six Weeks

Today I fly out to Germany for the next six weeks. Aside from the horrible fact (for you) that I won’t be on the podcast for the next six episodes, I’m also severely limited in my future gaming experiences. See, I’ve only got room for one console in my bags, and I’m taking my Wii because it’s the smallest. I’m going to try and finish all the games I have, and finally get my money out of them.

Here’s the list:
Okami
Metroid Prime 3: Corruption
Resident Evil 4: Wii Edition
Super Mario Galaxy
Super Paper Mario
Wii Sports
Wii Sports Resort

At the very least, I plan on beating Super Mario Galaxy and making Metroid Prime 3 my bitch. Other than that, who knows. Looking at the list now, it sure looks pretty bare-boned for six weeks of gameplay. Luckily, I’ll be busy traveling Bavaria and won’t notice.

It gets even more depressing when I look at the list of game releases I’m missing: Bayonetta, Darksiders, Dark Void, Mass Effect 2, MAG, BioShock 2, Dante’s Inferno, and Aliens Vs. Predator. Woe is me!

The Official 2009 Game Of The Year: Uncharted 2: Among Thieves

And there you have it folks, the recipient of our 2009 game of the year award. The process used to determine which game would reign supreme was a fairly straightforward one:

• Each writer selected his top six games
• Each writer assigned 6 points to his #1 game, 5 points for the #2 game (etc, etc)…
• A little mathamagicks
• Game with highest cumulative score wins!

Here’s the top 6:

Uncharted 2: Among Theives

Assassin’s Creed 2

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2

The Beatles: Rock Band

Batman: Arkham Asylum

Battlefield: 1943

Individual lists and point totals after the break!

Cheapskate: BF1943 for $7.50 Today Only

Hi, let me put this to you as delicately as possible. For today only, Microsoft is discounting its XBLA game Battlefield 1943 by 50%, to 600 Microsoft Points ($7.50). When this game came out this past summer, all of us here at Threevue HQ firmly believed that it was worth its original $15 price point.

At $7.50, you’d have to be some sort of idiot to not snatch it up today.

Ezio Auditore de Firenze a la Latte Barista

Just as Mel Gibson proved to us without a doubt that Jesus invented the table, Ubisoft has shown us that everybody’s favorite assassin Ezio invented the Cafe Latte in the Thieves Guild of Venice.

Killer, lover, barista. What can’t Ezio do?

Bayonetta Gets a 9.5. I Think Somebody’s Thinking With The Wrong Head

IGN gave Bayonetta the following score: 9.5/”Incredible”. As Russ pointed out earlier, the PS3 version only got an 8.2 on the PS3, but that’s more of a hardware problem. They’re the same game.

Here are some other games that B-netta is either as good as or better than according to the scores:

Modern Warfare 2: 9.5

Uncharted 2: 9.5

Assassin’s Creed 2: 9.2

Rock Band 2: 9

Fallout 3: 9.4 PS3, 9.6 Xbox 360

The Orange Box: 9.5

Mass Effect: 9.4

Bioshock: 9.4 PS3, 9.7 Xbox 360

…and so on. Truth be told, I’ve only played the Bayonetta demo, and although I liked it, I can’t help but be a little skeptical of that 9.5, especially since it received a higher mark than the IGN’s Top 360 game of all time, Mass Effect. Also, until I play the game  (which may or may not ever happen) and it proves me wrong, I refuse to believe that it is right up there with Fallout 3. There is just no damned way.

iPhone Game Review: Babel Rising

It seems like iPhone game maker BulkyPix has released somewhere between two and three hundred titles in just the last few months (actually it’s more like six, but man can they send out some emails!). Only one of which though puts you in the sandals of a wrathful deity trying to stop peasants from building a tower to your Heavenly home.

The game is called Babel Rising, and tasks the player with stopping the completion of a tower by doing things like zapping the workers with lightning, washing them away with a tsunami, sending a rain of fireballs upon them, or a few other natural disasters. Think of it as a “tower offense” game. The ultimate goal is to delay the completion of the tower of Babel as long as possible, and gain points by killing the workers; complete with score multipliers gained by killing a bunch of them at once. The game also sports achievements, and Open Feint connectivity so you can see your friends’ scores.

All-in-all, it’s a good $.99 game. There isn’t much depth to it, seeing how there is only one level and all the powers are available to you from the very beginning. I would have really loved to see something to add to the replayability, such as early levels that start off easy with only a few powers, and becomes more challenging with greater unlockable powers. Handing the player everything right off that bat takes much of the incentive out of returning to it over and over again, and makes it feel more like a “Lite” version of a larger game.

It is fun while it lasts, though, it’s priced fairly, and even passes the girlfriend test. BulkyPix has nice line of solid games, such as the hit Hysteria Project, and this is another fun one to check out.

GameSpot’s “Getting Started with Gaming”

Did you get a new console for Christmas? Unsure of where to start? GameSpot has a new article called Getting Started with Gaming that has tons of advice for first-time buyers of the three major consoles.

Previously, we’ve done rundowns of what to buy after getting a new console, but GameSpot did such a good job that I’m feeling…jobless.

Merry Christmas!

Special Delivery!

Well people, after a bit of a saga, my PS3 arrived today thanks to Amazon.co.uk. You see, initially I bought one from Play.com, though despite the fact I’ve been ordering from them for years with the same card, they suddenly decided that they had a problem with my card details. Rather than sort it out, I cancelled the order, and bought one from Amazon instead.

It’s probably just as well that I did too; for an extra £8 I got an HDMI cable (which I completely forgot about when I ordered from Play) and next-day delivery – although technically it turned out to be 48hr delivery on account of all the snow we’ve had. Not that I mind though; at least it arrived in time for Christmas.

Although I haven’t had a great deal of time with it yet, I have had enough time to set up the system, create a Playstation Store account and PSN ID (if anyone wants to hit me up, my PSN ID is blacktail9mm), play around with some of the systems features, download some demos and PSN games (can you say PixelJunk Shooter?) and get some game time in on Uncharted 2.

To hear my thoughts on the system so far, click the link below: